Question 1: Does the essay have a clear thesis that responds to question in assignment? Is the thesis statement in appropriate place (typically end of 1st paragraph)?
This essay does have a clear thesis that responds to the question in this assignment, “Though some aspects of the store’s design could simply be attributed to ease of logistics, it is plain to see that many design aspects mirror those suggested by Paco Underhill.” It is appropriately placed at the end of the first paragraph.
Question 2: Does the writer connect in at least three places to ideas from “The Science of Shopping”? Is that info properly cited and *not* plagiarized. If not, suggest places where writer might make those connections.
You connected three places in the store to the ideas from “The Science of Shopping”. You cited the information correctly, by putting the author’s name in parentheses at the end of the quote (it was confusing to me at first, because I was taught to put the period after the parentheses with the author’s name, but I’ve seen many other writers do it the way you did).
Question 3: Comment on the use of detail. Does the writer include plenty of specific observed detail? If not, suggest places and types of details that might be added.
I do think there could be some more detail in this essay. Some the details you did use seemed kind of general to me. For example, “Lowes also employs strategies similar to Underhill’s zone tactics by placing items mostly relating to home renovations at the rear of the store.” Maybe you could expand on that, describing specific items in the home renovation section. Or, “For the dusty, no nonsense carpenter they offer simple pricing labels and large signs and lettering to attract their attention.” Where in the store specifically did you see these labels, signs, and large lettering? Maybe, you could mention a specific customer, or staff member that you observed when you went to Lowe’s. I did like the analogy that you used in the second paragraph, comparing the customers moving about to bees in a hive, and mentioning the beeping forklift.
Question 4: Is the essay well-organized? Is information presented in a logical order? Are paragraphs focused and unified (one main idea per paragraph). If not, indicate places and ways organization could be improved.
This essay is well organized. The information is presented in a logical order. The first paragraph is a general introduction of the store, with the thesis statement. The second paragraph talks about the customers in. The third paragraph talks about how the store appeals to different kinds of customers. The fourth paragraph connects certain places in the store with information from “The Science of Shopping”. The last paragraph is a conclusion.